Have you ever looked at your life and thought:

I’m doing the right things. So why does something still feel off?

You are getting things done. You are showing up for your family. You are handling the responsibilities. You are working towards your goals.

From the outside, eveything may even look fine.

But you feel disconnected, overwhelmed, and unsure of your next move. You keep questioning what you want next, or you know something needs to change, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

You don’t need another goal. You need to get clear on what matters to you. (This is my absolute favorite thing to talk about!)

And here is where CORE VALUES come into play.

What are Core Values?

A core value is defined as “a principle or belief that a person views as of central importance.” Core Values influence how you make decisions, what you prioritize, how you spend your time, the relationships you build, and even what frustrates you.

Think of your core values as your internal compass.

When your choices align with your core values, life tends to feel more peaceful and intentional.

When you are out of alignment with your core values, you may feel friction in your life, although you may not understand why.

For a long time, I did not have language or hadn’t even heard of core values. My choices operated under “this is right” and “this is wrong.”

But deciding what my moral internal compass markes are, gave me language to this question:

Does this align with the woman I want to be and the life I want to live?

Now THAT question is juicy. That question changes things.

Why Core Values Matter?

Knowing your personal core values can help you make clearer decisions because you finally have something to measure those decisions against.

They affect how you show love.

How you parent.

How you lead.

How you work.

How you spend your time.

What you tolerate.

What you’re willing to say no to.

For example, if you value quality time, but every evening is spent answering emails or scrolling on your phone, you’ll probably feel some internal friction.

If you value growth, but you are staying in a situation that no longer challenges you, you may start to feel restless.

If you value, honesty, relationships where you don’t feel like you can say what you really think may feel heavy.

If you value freedome, a calendar packed with obligations you don’t actually want, may leave you feeling trapped.

That friction is information.

If something feels off, but you can’t name it? You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Book a free 20-minute Path Forward Call.

We’ll talk through what you’re carrying, what is creating the friction, and what may actually need your attention.

Examples of Core Values:

This is not an extensive list. Here are some common values to get you started.

• Integrity
• accountability
• growth
• adventure
• bravery
• empathy
• happiness
• leadership
• patience
• respect
• security
• wealth
• honesty
• courage
• trust
• fun
• inclusion
• personal development
• cleanliness
• faith
• change
• humor
• gratitude
• acceptance
• family
• creativity
• stability
• loyalty
• accountability

How To Identify Your Core Values:

Start by noticing which words listed above caused you to pause.

Then look at your actual life.

Ask yourself:

When have I felt most like myself?

What was happening? Who was I with? What made that experience meaningful?

What consistently frustrates me?

Frustration can be a huge clue that one of your values is being violated.

What do I need in my closest relationships?

Honesty? Loyalty? Communication? Humor? Stability? Adventure?

What makes me proud of myself?

Look underneath the accomplishment. What value were you honoring?

What do I want my family, friends, or colleagues to experience when they’re around me?

What am I constantly asking for from other people?

And here’s a big one:

Where does my current life not match what I say matters to me?

Don’t rush past that question.

That’s often where the real work is.

Your Values Should Show Up in Your Actual Life

It’s easy to say something matters to us.

It’s harder to look at our calendars, choices, habits, boundaries, and relationships and ask whether we’re actually living it.

If I say quality time with my family is one of my core values, but I’m constantly distracted when I’m with them, there’s a gap.

If I say growth matters to me, but I’m avoiding the uncomfortable thing that would require me to grow, there’s a gap.

If I say communication matters to me, but I’m expecting people to read my mind instead of telling them what I need, there’s a gap.

That doesn’t make you a hypocrite.

It gives you something incredibly useful:

awareness.

Because once you can name the gap, you can decide what you want to do about it.

My Personal Core Values

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the values I want my own life to reflect. Here are a few of mine:

Integrity: I want my actions to match my intentions and to do what I believe is right with the information I have.

Communication: I believe we carry so much unnecessary emotional weight when we don’t communicate what we need, think, or feel.

Learning and Growth: Learning gives me a sense of purpose. I want to continue becoming more aware of myself, challenging old beliefs, and growing into the person I know I’m capable of becoming.

Honesty: Just tell the dang truth. When it’s easy and when it’s uncomfortable. Truth gives us something we can actually work with.

Quality Time: I want to be present for the ordinary moments with the people I love. Friday night movies. Family walks. Conversations. Adventures. Those moments matter to me.

Fun: Life isn’t only something to accomplish. I want to actually enjoy it.

Loyalty: Trust and feeling safe in my closest relationships matter deeply to me. I want to offer that same safety and loyalty to the people I love.

My values don’t just describe me.

They help me make decisions about who I want to become.

And that’s what I want yours to do for you.

Try This Core Values Exercise

Choose three values from the list above that feel especially important to you right now.

Then choose one you’ve been neglecting.

Ask yourself:

What would need to change this month for my life to better reflect this value?

Don’t create a 17-step action plan.

Choose one thing.

One conversation.

One boundary.

One habit.

One decision.

One honest admission.

Start there.

What If You Know Something Needs to Change, But You Don’t Know What?

Sometimes you can do all the journaling, make all the lists, and think about your life from every possible angle…

…and still find yourself circling the same question.

That’s exactly why I offer my Path Forward Callhttps://calendly.com/aliciaortmancoaching/path-forward-call.

It’s a free 20-minute conversation designed to help you get underneath the surface of what feels off.

We’ll talk about what you’re quietly carrying, what you actually want, and where your values, capacity, or current choices may no longer match.

You don’t need to show up with the answer.

That’s the point of the conversation.

You just need to be willing to get honest about where you are.

BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE PATH FORWARD CALL

You may not need another goal.

You may need the space to hear yourself clearly enough to know which direction you actually want to go.

Citations:  Core Value Definition: Yahoo Search