A core value is defined as “a principle or belief that a person views as central importance.” Core Values are the motivating factors behind how a person behaves and makes the decisions they do. Most people may not be aware of their core values, or even have any knowledge that is how they show up in the world. I certaintly didn’t for a long time.
But when you spend time to become aware of what truly matters to you, then you can use those values as a compass in how you show up in your life. This is a great place to start if you are new to personal development, simply defining 5-7 core values that matter to you, and think about how those values will shape the life you desire to live. Personal development takes looking into a mirror and reflecting on what serves you and what no longer serves you. If we want to begin to brush away the pieces that no longer serve us, we can start by defining our core values, and then making decisions that align with those values. Then, as we continue to do that, over time, the person we desire to become will begin taking shape.
If you want to become a better version of yourself, then knowing what matters to you, is the foundation for everything else to build upon. If you want to have a great relationship with someone, then you have to know what is important to you. You certainly can’t be in a healthy relationship with a partner or a friend if you value honesty and they are hiding things and being untruthful. Those things do not align so that person isn’t right for you in alignment with your core values. If you value leadership, then you probably won’t take advice from someone that isn’t executing in a way you admire.
If you want to be a more intentional parent, then you have to define how that shows up for you. I cannot be the mom I want to be and say quality time is my core value, and also be on my phone all day long. I have to be self reflective enough to put down the phone when it’s dinner time, movie night, game time, going on a family walk, even snuggle time. All those things fill me with joy and love, and I would absolutely miss out on the little things if I didn’t have that core value defined.
Integrity, accountability, growth, adventure, bravery, empathy, happiness, leadership, patience, respect, security, wealth, honesty, courage, trust, fun, inclusion, personal development, cleanliness, change, humor, gratitude, acceptance, family, creativity, faith, stability, change are just a handful of examples of hundreds of core values.
Look at the above list of examples of core values. Did any strike a chord with you? If so, that is where you can do some self reflection and think back on examples in your life that you made decisions that aligned with that value.
Ask yourself some of these questions to uncover your core values.
There are lots of core values that we may think serve us, but I want you to really dig down and think of values that make you the core being of who you are. Which values have lead you to the person you are now? The parent you are now? The leader in your work environment that you are now? What are you constantly asking for in your personal and business relationships? That is an indicator of a core value. I like to be informed of all aspects of a responsibility if I am working with others, and want to be included in changes in a project I am working on. That is an indicator that communication is one of my core values. Having people that feel loved and safe with me is very important to me, so integrity and honesty are my core values. I lead with those values to create the environment around me that yields those trusting feelings.
I have spent time identifying what truly matters to me and my person core values are as follows:
–Integrity– To always behave with pure intentions and do the right thing to the best of my knowledge in that moment.
–Communication– If we can just be honest with how we’re feeling or what direction we want to take, then not only will we be happier, than the people around us will be more capable to give us what we need. How else will the people around you (either personal life or professional life) know what you want or what you’re thinking? I truly feel we can carry so much less emotional weight within ourselves if we just spoke our needs to those around us. I view communication almost like units of measurements. If I have no idea what you need or want, then I have no reference point in how to help you. But if you speak your needs to me, then I have something to work from, and then I can develop whatever skills or behavior I need to better support you. Therefore communication is a very important core value to me.
–Learning/Growth– I am growth mindset orientated, and learning gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I also always want to be doing better than I was yesterday. I want to feel good in this life, and that means acknowledging the pieces of me that need to be let go of, and learning new ways to help myself and others. When I can share my knowledge in a topic with another person, and pieces of it helps them, then that is truly where my core value is acknowledge and blooms.
–Honesty– Just tell the dang truth. When it’s easy and when it’s hard. Again, people can make actual decision from the truth.
–Quality Time- Spending quality time with my family is so important to me. Making memories, going on adventures when life affords it, trying new things, and just being together watching movies on Friday Nights. When you know what matters to you, making time for those that fit into those categories is just so much more worth it.
–Fun– Life is meant to be enjoyed! Parts of life are so hard at times, and why oh why wouldn’t you want to have moments with your family and/or friends that just feel light and joyful? What do you like to do? Make time for it! Don’t get to the end of your life with a bunch of “I wish I went on that adventure” , “I wish I traveled there”, “I wish I could have done that when I was younger.” Make a plan, save some money, and go HAVE FUN.
–Loyalty– I am an enneagram 8, and so loyalty is deeply important to me, as it is a core motivator if you are familiar with the enneagram. Loyalty also leads back into feeling safe with people in my circle, so to attract the right people, I must act with integrity. Some of my core values overlap and that’s ok!
Some of my core values have been buried deep within me for a very long time. Sometime I may not have acted in congruence with my core values, and those times are very painful and full of chaos. But now that I have them defined, and understand when I have acted versus not acted with my core values, I can make better decisions in the future to become the person I want to be.
Choose anywhere from 3-7 core values that align with your beliefs. Start very small and over time, you may add more values to your personal index of who you wish to become.
If you would like for me to help you discover what your core values are please email me at HeyGoalSister@gmail.com and type “Core Values” in the Subject line.
I can’t wait to hear from you!
Citations: Core Value Definition: Yahoo Search
I’m Alicia! I started Hey Goal Sister as a way to communicate with like minded women that want to make traction in their lives but may not know how. This site is about goal setting, advice, and living a more intentional life.
January 23, 2019. That is the first time that I wrote down a vision board …