Mindset Roadblocks for Women

When it comes to setting goals, one thing that will come up for women is mindset roadblocks or limiting beliefs. Mindset roadblocks are sneaky little obstacles that sometimes make us doubt ourselves or our ability to make progress on our goals or our personal growth. They are little stories we tell ourselves and those stories keep us stuck and safe in our comfort zone. But our current comfort zone is not the same place where our future goals get accomplished. Let’s talk about some mindset roadblocks and what we can do about them.

1. Comparing Ourselves to Others: It’s easy to get caught up in comparing our lives to those of others, especially with social media painting a picture of perfect lives. But constantly comparing ourselves can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Thinking that the Instagram “highlight reel” is real life, is just not true. I am a big believer in Keeping Your Eyes On Your Paper. This holds true with your goal setting, your job, your clothes, your home, your kids, all of it. We all are just trying to do our best, whatever today’s best looks like. Put comparison down, relax your shoulders, and know social media is curated to be the highlight reel. Mute any accounts that send you into a mental comparison trap spiral.
2. Perfectionism: Many of us put off pursuing our goals because we want everything to be perfect right from the start. But perfectionism can be paralyzing. There is that background track that plays in the background of our subconscious, of what a good “wife, mom, girl, daughter, etc” looks like. And if we aren’t being perfect at all those things, then we are not good. That is a lie! Give yourself the grace and permission, to try, learn, and pivot. There is no such thing as perfection, it is an impossible standard to meet and live up to. I have confidence that even Oprah Winfrey messes up sometimes, so we can too.
3. Fear of Failure: The fear of failing can stop us dead in our tracks. There is a lot of concern about what others might think about us and if they see if out here going for our goals, and we fail, then they will ridicule us. First, most people aren’t thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves. Second, failures are lessons! IF you choose to learn from them. Reframe being a failure to, ” I am wiling to learn until I get it right.”
4. Putting Others Before Ourselves: As women, we often prioritize the needs of others above our own. While it’s important to be caring and supportive, it’s also crucial to take care of ourselves and pursue our own goals and dreams. Setting boundaries and saying no when necessary is perfectly okay. If you don’t know what your boundaries are, see my post about core values to determine what is important to you. And remember, you are always trading your time for something. If you are constantly at the mercy of others, then you are trading their wants and needs for your own. If you are depleted and exhausted, think about how many times you say “no thank you”, or “I can’t take that on right now.” Boundaries are good! They teach others what our capabilities are.
5. Thinking We’re Stuck in Our Ways: Have you ever thought, “I’m just not good at this” or “I’ll never be able to change”? That’s a sign of a fixed mindset. I would like you to add the word YET to the end of those sentences. When you do, you are giving yourself permission and the possibility of learning a new skill or habit. If you don’t know where to begin, make a list of your goal and what is required, and start by taking one small action step today. You may not be able to read an entire personal growth book in one day, but you can read 10 pages. You can’t fix your financial situation in one month, but you can make a budget, and review your subscriptions, and turn off auto-renewals. You see what I’m saying?
6. Fear of Success: Does an unknown future of being successful scare you? What about our life and ourselves would be different if we were to become successful? I want to ask you to think back to when you were a child, and what is the narrative that you were surrounded with about success? And try to make a connection to your fear of it, and see if that background track is keeping you from making moves that you know you need to. I was surprised that this is a mindset roadblock for me!

Some tactical tools for you to push into your mindset roadblocks:

Take intentional quiet time to yourself and journal about what your fears are, and ask yourself why, at least 5 times to try and discover the root cause of your mindset roadblock. You can meditate about how you will reframe your specific roadblock. Implement a gratitude practice to teach yourself abundance and being enough. Write a list of all your accomplishments. Write affirmations that speak to you on sticky notes, and post them in your home and workspace. Follow your ideas and curiosities of skills or hobbies you want to try. Then try some! Talk about your mindset with your therapist. Learn from others in podcasts and books!

So, how do we tackle these mindset roadblocks and move forward? It starts with self-awareness and a willingness to challenge our thoughts and beliefs. Our personal growth journey is ours, and therefore it isn’t going to look like your sisters, your neighbors, or that social media influencer you follow. Give yourself grace, and let’s focus on taking small actionable steps that feel good to us, and align with our core values.

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With love and light,

Alicia – Hey Goal Sister