38 Life Lessons

It’s my 38th birthday! I am celebrating by sharing 38 random life lessons and pieces of advice I’ve gathered along my journey. I really strive to always be learning, through books, podcasts, and especially life experiences. I think of life as seasons, and we should be growing through things that happen to or for us. Yes, I believe that even though something may be hard at the moment, it can be for us. Here’s a list of 38 random life lessons I’ve gathered together for you in no particular order. I hope one of them resonates with you.

“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.”

Mary Tyler Moore

1. Know your money. Know how much you are bringing in. Know how much debt you owe. Know your principal balances, and know the interest rates. Know how long each one will take to pay off, and get busy paying it off. You are literally paying the bank more money than you borrowed every month. Why are you giving your money away like that?
2. Grief is a journey that never ends. Sometimes grief is dark and lonely. Other times, grief brings a smile to your face when you see a cardinal through the window at a bird feeder in your back yard. Grief hits you at the most unexpected times like birthdays and holidays, and it also hits you on a random Tuesday while on a run, or while watching a movie. Your grief is your journey, and you are allowed to feel sad for however long you need to. Don’t stay in sadness forever, learn to carry grief in your heart as a badge of honor. How lucky are you that someone loved you so much that it still hurts even though it’s a year, 5 years, or 20 years later?? Pretty dang special if you ask me.
3. When you make a plan, work backwards. Start with the end goal and work your way backwards to figure out where to start from. The plan to the goal always changes. Roll with it. The goal, should never change. Unless the goal no longer serves you.
4. There is nothing that will ever prepare you for being a parent, other than parenting your own child.
5. Speak kindly to any individual working in the retail or service industry. They are the hardest working people in the building.
6. Apologize to children when you are wrong. It validates their feelings, teaches them adults are still figuring it out too, and builds a better foundation when you repair a situation with them.
7. Don’t liter, cut your 6 pack plastic rings, and don’t release balloons into the air. Yes, save the wildlife. That 6th grade poster of a turtle caught in a plastic ring traumatized me.
8. Drink your water! Aim for half your body weight in ounces of water. EVERY DAY. Yes, you will pee a lot. But your skin looks better and it’s good to get rid of toxins in your body.
9. Go to your yearly doctor appointments. Go to your dentist, go to your OBGYN, and go to the eye doctor if you can’t see well. It’s simple and smart self care. Teach your kids that going to the doctor is normal and a part of self care.
10. If someone you care about tells you something in confidence, keep it confidential. You are a safe place for them. Honor that.
11. If you see something that’s wrong, do something about it. If you see something that needs done, do it. Integrity is everything.
12. Any extra income you get that you are not expecting, (like a tax refund, a bonus, side job, etc) pay it towards a debt, not a new tv.
13. Make a goal for yourself. Any goal. To walk 10 minutes a day for 30 days. To wake up 30 minutes earlier, to read for 20 minutes a day. Anything! Teach yourself that you can do hard things, and you do have tenacity.
14. Don’t have a life long passion? Great! Me either! That’s ok! Follow your curiosities. You will learn so much about yourself and all kinds of other things. From budgeting to roller derby, from cooking to volunteering as a mission worker in Guatemala, from website SEO to a daily gratitude practice. Explore it all! I have found that little pieces of curiosities show up again later on in life.
15. Support your friends. Recommend their businesses, share their social media sales, and offer your knowledge when you can if they ask you.
16. Hug your kids, and look them in the eye and tell them how happy you are that you are their parent. Watch their entire body language change.
17. Write yourself a letter of your accomplishments. You will be amazed at what you have done so far in your life. And you will be pretty dang proud of yourself. And you should be!
18. If you have a baby a year old or less, just focus on sleeping when you can. This is not your season to be working on any goals or home projects. Get sleep!
19. You literally cannot spoil or love a baby too much. I cannot tell you how many times I heard, “you’re gonna spoil that baby!” Ya know what? GOOD!! Babies don’t keep, and I regret zero times I laid on the couch and held my baby while she slept, even though there was laundry and dishes piled up. If the worst thing I do is love my kid too much, then so be it.
20. If you want to know something, it exists Google or You Tube for free. Google it.
21. Sometimes loosing a friend is worse than loosing a boyfriend. If you’ve lost a friend, I am so sorry for that pain. It’s such a deep hole in the heart. It takes time. You’ll probably never stop thinking about them, I haven’t. Refer to the grief statement above.
22. You will be too much for some people. Those are not your people. Push into people that love you even with all your “muchness.”
23. You are a reflection of the 5 people you surround yourself with. Look around your circle. Are the people you spend the most time supporting a desired future version of yourself? If not, find a new circle.
24. Music is a healer, and has saved my soul so many times. Listen to any breakup album or songs about loss. You really get to feel the heart of soul of an artist when they are writing and singing about pain. It’s so raw, and healing for us. I’ve cried my eyes and screamed lyrics out on a run listening to songs about pain. And I felt so much better after.
25. Cooking is a life skill, not a gender skill. Learn to cook, and teach your children to cook. It gives then such autonomy, and they won’t be 23 years old and the only thing they can make is scrambled eggs and Kraft mac and cheese. (yep, that really was me.)
26. We all have some version of trauma. We will all carry it for our lifetime. Will you allow your trauma story to play like a movie and affect your life today? Or, will you do the hard work, process your trauma, and GROW through it? Deciding not to work through trauma is a choice to stay in the same place and repeat cycles. Deciding to work through trauma and take different actions, is also a choice. Either way, how you handle your trauma is a CHOICE. And I promise, your trauma affects the person you are and the choices you make right this second.
27. Wake up each morning and think of 5 things you are grateful for. Before you check any social media! Little things that happened the day before. You train yourself to look for moments of joy as they happen, and you get to live the moment twice when you do your gratitude practice the next day.
28. Think of the hardest thing that you think you can do. Then, make a plan with a deadline and go do it.
29. No one is coming to save you. If you want a different life, then it’s up to you to make different choices and have a different life. It’s not linear, it’s not easy. You will lose some people, and that will be incredibly painful. It will be worth it in the end.
30. You are more than “just a mom”. You are an entire beautiful soul, and the dreams in your heart, matter. Find a support system, and work on it day by day, even if for 10 minutes a day. It will add up over time.
31. Real love is being with someone in the valley of hard times, and also on top of the mountain for the good times. The view is sweeter on top when you’ve crawled through the valley side by side.
32. Learn what your and your partner’s love language is. We show our love by giving what our love language is. But your partner (and friends) feel love differently than you. Learn to love them in their love language. (Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages)
33. To make a new friend, go do the things you enjoy doing. Over and over again. If you talk about something you enjoy enough, someone that enjoys the same things, will eventually show up! Having the courage to put yourself out there, will pay off.
34. Always wear a coverup over a bathing suit while you drive. You don’t want to be standing on the side of the road fixing a flat or calling for help in a wreck in only your bathing suit. Thank you Sandy. P.S. Learn how to change a flat tire yourself ladies.
35. A budget is not a negative or limiting thing. It is only limiting if you allow it to be. A budget simply tells you where your money is going. A budget gives you power and direction. Know your money!
36. Ladies. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS! Your journey is journey. Your body is your body. Don’t worry about others further along than you. Don’t worry about what other people look like. If you covet something someone else has, then that is a clear indicator that you need to get to work on that thing and get it for yourself. Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Eyes on your own paper.
37. My thirties were better than my twenties. (Perspective and wisdom).
38. Be kind to others. You don’t know what someone else is struggling with. You might be the only bright spot in their day. Speak kindly to others even if you are frustrated. Retail life has truly taught me that. BE KIND.

Plus one lesson to grow on…. Know your happy place. Know it so well you can see it with your eyes closed, hear the sounds, and smell the surrounding smells (ah that salty, humid, pluff mud smell. I love it.) When life gets hard, you have to have an actual happy place in mind, to calm yourself, and figure out a way to get back there.

There you have it! Was there anything that resonated with you? Comment below!

To help wish me a happy birthday, share this on social media so I can reach more people! Thank you friend!